I love when I open my journal to the same date from a previous year and find exactly what I need to read in that moment. It’s almost like my younger self is encouraging my older self…

This time last year I was preparing to move from New York to Atlanta and I didn’t have a car. In case you don’t know, Atlanta is NOT a city known for its amazing public transportation! For example, a 15-minute drive can take upwards of 2 1/2 hours via bus/Marta…

From my previous post, you know that I’m waiting on a word from God. Last night I was in tears because quite honestly, I’m tired of waiting. But, I don’t want to step outside of God’s will, so I’ve resolved that I will continue to wait. I will continue to trust. I will continue to have faith that God has my best interest in mind and He will speak when He knows I’m really ready to listen.

But, let me get back to the point of this post: 

Last night, I opened my journal to 4/17/12 and read my concerns about moving to Atlanta in 3 days with no leads on securing a car. But, the words in my journal weren’t complaints to God (something I sometimes slip into now), they were exhortations to myself to not lose faith in God’s promises and plan for me in Atlanta! In fact, within a week of moving here, God provided me with a car and enough funds to pay for the car. Praise God!

Sometimes when you’re low, you just have to encourage yourself!

And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in theLord his God.

-1 Samuel 30:6 KJV

The NLT version says, “David found strength in the Lord his God” (emphasis added). 

In our weakness, God’s strength is made perfect. Rather than let my circumstances consume me, I’m choosing to find strength and encourage myself in God. So like Paul says, 

So Saul asked God, “Should we go after the Philistines? Will you help us defeat them?” But God made no reply that day. (1 Samuel 14:37 NLT)

But Jesus gave her no reply, not even a word (Matthew 15:23a NLT)

I believe God is really trying to drill this into my heart this week. The two scriptures above were in two different devotionals that I read this morning. 

I’m learning that sometimes God is silent.

I’ve been praying for God’s timing on a couple of things so I can “make moves,” but even while fasting, I’ve not received a reply. During my prayer time earlier this week, I had the following exchange with God: 

Me: Lord, I need an answer! I don’t know what to do. Please help me!

God: (silence)

Me: Lord, PLEASE! I need to hear from you on this.

God: (silence)

Me: (silence)

God: Am I the author of confusion?

Me: No, Lord, you’re not…

God: If you have no peace on what you should do, then you know that what you’re contemplating to do is not of me…

Me: (silence)

God: If I’ve said nothing. Do nothing.

Even in my pleading, God still didn’t give me a specific answer to my concern. But, He reminded me to wait. If He’s said nothing, I should do nothing. I must be still and continue to wait. 

However, I must be clear: waiting doesn’t mean twiddle-my-thumbs-and-wait-for-the-heavens-to-open-to-take-me-where-I-want-to-go. 

Wait means prepare.

God won’t place me in a position that I’m not prepared to take ownership of. I need a strong foundation in order to stand on His promises, so what am I doing now? 

I’m doing nothing. But, while doing nothing, I’m preparing for “something.”

—————

Oh, and God did finally answer the people in the scriptures relayed above. Saul’s military had many successes and the woman who Jesus did not answer at first? Her daughter was healed.

God is awesome!

“And wherever they are assembled today, whether they are in Johannesburg, South Africa; Nairobi, Kenya; Accra, Ghana; New York City; Atlanta, Georgia; Jackson, Mississippi; or Memphis, Tennessee — the cry is always the same: ‘We want to be free.’”

When I read the above line from Martin Luther King’s final speech, my jaw dropped. Immediately I reflected on a promise that God had given me when I began my true walk of faith 2 years ago. His promise had one requirement: Follow Him. 

I listed this particular line from his speech because it’s significance is monumental to me. I’ve lived in 3 cities he mentioned, visited 5, and have had intentions to travel to the last 2 out of 7. 

Selah.

When God directs the course of your life, He takes you to heights that aren’t even possible to imagine. Like the boys in the photo above, “I’ve been to the mountaintop.” And as life would have it, and Dr. King, Jr mentioned, 

“We’ve got some difficult days ahead. But it really doesn’t matter with me now, because I’ve been to the mountaintop.”

Walking with God doesn’t mean you won’t go through the fire; it means you’ll be refined in the fire. With Him, anything is possible, and I thank Him for the vision of the promised land. 

I’m in the fire. I feel it. But, I’m stretching my arms toward God and relentlessly walking toward His promises for me. 

———————

“I’ve Been to the Mountaintop.” -Martin Luther King, Jr.

delivered in Memphis, Tennessee on April 3, 1968

Thank you very kindly, my friends. As I listened to Ralph Abernathy and his eloquent and generous introduction and then thought about myself, I wondered who he was talking about. It’s always good to have your closest friend and associate to say something good about you. And Ralph Abernathy is the best friend that I have in the world. I’m delighted to see each of you here tonight in spite of a storm warning. You reveal that you are determined to go on anyhow.

Something is happening in Memphis; something is happening in our world. And you know, if I were standing at the beginning of time, with the possibility of taking a kind of general and panoramic view of the whole of human history up to now, and the Almighty said to me, “Martin Luther King, which age would you like to live in?” I would take my mental flight by Egypt and I would watch God’s children in their magnificent trek from the dark dungeons of Egypt through, or rather across the Red Sea, through the wilderness on toward the promised land. And in spite of its magnificence, I wouldn’t stop there.

I would move on by Greece and take my mind to Mount Olympus. And I would see Plato, Aristotle, Socrates, Euripides and Aristophanes assembled around the Parthenon. And I would watch them around the Parthenon as they discussed the great and eternal issues of reality. But I wouldn’t stop there.

I would go on, even to the great heyday of the Roman Empire. And I would see developments around there, through various emperors and leaders. But I wouldn’t stop there. 

I would even come up to the day of the Renaissance, and get a quick picture of all that the Renaissance did for the cultural and aesthetic life of man. But I wouldn’t stop there.

I would even go by the way that the man for whom I am named had his habitat. And I would watch Martin Luther as he tacked his ninety-five theses on the door at the church of Wittenberg. But I wouldn’t stop there.

I would come on up even to 1863, and watch a vacillating President by the name of Abraham Lincoln finally come to the conclusion that he had to sign the Emancipation Proclamation. But I wouldn’t stop there.

I would even come up to the early thirties, and see a man grappling with the problems of the bankruptcy of his nation. And come with an eloquent cry that we have nothing to fear but “fear itself.” But I wouldn’t stop there.

Strangely enough, I would turn to the Almighty, and say, “If you allow me to live just a few years in the second half of the 20th century, I will be happy.”

Now that’s a strange statement to make, because the world is all messed up. The nation is sick. Trouble is in the land; confusion all around. That’s a strange statement. But I know, somehow, that only when it is dark enough can you see the stars. And I see God working in this period of the twentieth century in a way that men, in some strange way, are responding.

Something is happening in our world. The masses of people are rising up. And wherever they are assembled today, whether they are in Johannesburg, South Africa; Nairobi, Kenya; Accra, Ghana; New York City; Atlanta, Georgia; Jackson, Mississippi; or Memphis, Tennessee — the cry is always the same: “We want to be free.”

Full text here.